Another weekend.

This has been a tough week. After a few weeks of beautiful weather, the rain is back full-force, and it's been freezing. My schedule has been a mess due to covering more hours at school, and has resulted in more biking in the cold, rainy wind. On top of that, T has been pretty absent due to extra work and friend stuff. After a (ridiculously) major freak-out on my part, he's decided to cut back his days at work (which keep getting longer anyway) by one per week until after the wedding. THANK GAWD. This one day a week off together AND him getting off late nearly every evening isn't cutting it for me. We don't get anything done and hardly see each other while awake. This will help a ton. Also, since he worked an extra shift at a restaurant opening last night, he's giving me some cash to have a much-needed WEDDING CRAFT GET-TOGETHER with some girlfriends. Who wants to help sew runners and make tissue paper pom poms?!

 (source)

In other news, I'm realizing the wedding is a month-and-a-half away and I  am panicking over how little is done. Because of new budget woes (my dad went back on his agreement to help pay for the venue - the one thing he was helping with; and T's mom halved her total contribution), we're cutting out our caterer and just doing appetizers and dessert. People can be responsible for feeding themselves before the wedding (it's at 1pm on a Sunday and going to brunch is pretty much a national pastime here in Portland), graze on snacks, and then have dinner/a bbq/whatever later in the evening since I doubt it'll go past 5 or 6.

Included in this panic over "how little is done" is that fact that for months I've been saying I'm going to lose the weight I've gained since I started grad school (which I finished IN SUMMER OF 2009). I've been really sick of the weight I'm at for a long time now. It's the most I've ever weighed, and I'll be damned if I stay this size forever. I'm an emotional eater and have been pretty miserable at one of my jobs, and so food has been a comfort... but it's totally a false comfort because I eat too much and then feel physically bad and mentally guilty and pissed off at myself! And it's everywhere: the family I nanny for leaves me a (delicious! omg!) sandwich from the Mediterranean place they ate at, and I eat it despite having had lunch earlier. T decides he needs deep-fried goodness and booze from the bar around the corner on a Wednesday and I go along with it. I CAN say no, save food for later, get a salad, or remind T of his own getting-in-shape goals before we go out rather than after. And I will do this. I also tortured myself with the Jillian Michaels' 30-Day Shred DVD this morning, and am committed to doing so every day for the next month. I'm not expecting miracles, but my general activity level tends to be high enough that if I couple that with a moderately-successful attempt at cleaning up my diet, I should see some success. The workout seems to be a good fit for me - despite doing the "baby" level of movement on the leg stuff, it makes me sweat like crazy. I need more cardio. The type of biking I do involves so many mandatory stops and stretches of downhill that I never quite get my heart rate up as much as it needs to be for the real health benefits.

On tap for the weekend: An interview with a potential summer nanny share family; cleaning; ironing napkins; filling out wedding liability insurance quote paperwork; (hopefully) meeting with the new caterers; brunch tomorrow with Julia Massey & the FFD, who are on tour and in Portland and then their show that night. And hopefully finishing some more wedding stuff.

By the way, we've received 4 RSVP cards so far. Out of 6 people, 4 are coming. If this 66% rate of acceptance stays even, we'll have about 99 people, which is just about perfect. Fingers are crossed. One thing about RSVPs that I didn't expect? That many people don't figure out that they need to WRITE THEIR NAMES on the blank line on the RSVP. How the hell are we supposed to know this random postcard is from you?! (one person wrote their return address on the back... we figured the other was T's aunt by the city it came from. If Portlanders or Seattlites start doing this, we're screwed.

Next Friday I get to take a day off work and go to Seattle for a dress fitting! EXCITING!